This week...I wanted to kirk out and be upset at my co-parent because I didn't feel as if I was being heard. Instead of being incredibly mean to him, I got frustrated and decided to just be mad by myself.
Surprise, surprise...who could tell me that went well? I was fussing at my children; I was irritated. I could literally feel my spirit vibrating with how upset I was. On the car ride home, I said out loud, "God, I CAN'T DO THIS!! LIKE CAN WE BE REAL?!"
I then proceeded to scream and yell. I told God how I was frustrated. I told Him how I was upset and how small I felt. 5 minutes of unadulterated tantrum.
You know what didn't happen?
God didn't smite me or put in His proverbial earbuds. He listened...I can tell because He didn't thought speak, or interrupt the entire time. When I was done, I didn't have to ask God to take away the rage because, in reality, that wasn't the issue. A larger issue was uncovered.
Anger was just the mic that my feelings of being unheard used because when I'm angry, somehow I get some type of attention. Whether it's positive or negative.
Anywho...I prayed for Holy Spirit to fill me with the joy of my salvation and to just swamp me with his goodness in place of that hurt. Guess who sang Kpop all the way back home with a smile on her face?
Coach K :) #RealConversations
